How to explain to a child what menstruation is? How do menstruation begin?

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Last update date: 16.12.2020

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“Mommy, what is this?” – asked a 7-year-old girl, taking out a package of tampons from a dressing table drawer. Unprepared to talk about puberty and menstruation1,2, her mother decided to improvise. “Um...those are windshield wiper attachments, honey.”

Do you know how to talk about periods when the time comes to talk about this topic with your daughter? After all, this will happen sooner than you think.

As a rule, girls' first menstruation occurs at age 12, but for some it begins much earlier1,2. However, before that, your daughter will pay attention to other changes that are happening to her body: recent studies have shown that most girls begin to develop mammary glands at the age of 9-10 years2.

If you notice these changes, you should understand that her first period may be just around the corner: breast development usually begins in a child about 2 years before her first period2. Pubic and armpit hair appears approximately six months before menstruation2. You will have a few more months to think about how to tell a girl about her period.

“In fact, your first period should be an intermediate step in a series of conversations with your daughter about her development—physical and psychological changes,” says Karen Zager, Ph.D., a practicing psychologist in New York City and co-author of the book Insights from Teen Girls first-hand: an expert answers parents’ questions.” The Inside Story on Teen Girls: Experts Answer Parents' Questions.

“All of these conversations should begin very early, using age-appropriate forms of conversation for the child.”

What are periods in girls and women and why are they needed: biology

Menstruation in girls and women is necessary to ensure reproductive function.
From the point of view of biology, there is such a thing as “menstruation” or “menstruation”. What are periods in girls and women and why are they needed? Here is the answer:

Menstruation is a normal physiological process in which the lining of the uterus sheds and comes out through the vagina.
It is called menstrual fluid.
It often happens that women complain about their menstrual periods. In other words, premenstrual syndrome. All this is not in vain, because the menstrual cycle has a strong influence not only on mood, but also on physical condition.

Few people know that critical days are quite rare in nature. Not all mammals have menstruation, but only the so-called higher primates (chiropterans and jumpers). A reasonable question arises: how is it that not all female animals have periods? Answer:

The fact is that mammals are divided into two types: primal beasts and real animals.
The first are those who lay eggs, and the second are those who give birth to children.
Of course, the babies are more developed if they are born right away, rather than hatching from the shell. However, this is not all the ramifications.
Real animals are divided into marsupials and placentals. The second type includes people.
In turn, placentals include living beings with a menstrual cycle and an estrous cycle.

Menstruation renews the epithelium of the uterus, which should come out as unnecessary. Through this process, the uterus can renew itself and prepare for pregnancy next month. Thus, periods also act as reinsurance. If fertilization does not occur, then the body gets rid of the endometrium and everything that has accumulated during the cycle. So there is no need to be afraid of critical days. They help the body get rid of unnecessary substances that can harm health.

At what age should you talk about menstruation?

Menstrual bleeding begins at 10–15 years of age, with an average age of 12–13 years. It is advisable to talk about what menstruation is before it starts. It won’t be difficult for an attentive parent to guess the moment. The fact that the time to talk about an important stage of growing up has come can be evidenced by transformations in appearance:

breast, hip enlargement, waist shaping;
the appearance of hairs on the pubis and under the arms;
possibly discharge from the genital tract, leaving marks on the underwear.

And also important indicators of the need to talk with a girl about an intimate topic are changes in her behavior:

mood swings that do not have obvious external causes, which are caused by hormonal changes;
curiosity about your body;
interest in the opposite sex.

These signs appear in varying degrees in adolescents, but they are considered the “first signs” that it is time to clarify some important aspects of growing up.

Sooner or later, the time to talk to a girl about her critical days will come anyway.

What is the menstrual cycle: diagram

The menstrual cycle or menstrual cycle is the intermediate time from the first day of the last menstruation to the first day of the next. As a rule, the cycle begins to count from the day when menstruation begins. Typically the cycle lasts from 21 to 35 days . If critical days do not fit into this schedule, then this is no longer normal and you should consult a doctor. Here is a diagram of the menstrual cycle:

Menstruation cycle diagram

The menstrual cycle is especially helpful for women who want to become pregnant. Using the menstrual calendar, they can calculate days favorable for conception. The medical term for this period is ovulation. During this period, pregnancy occurs with a high probability, compared to other days of the cycle.

Please remember: You can stick to this regimen if you have a regular cycle. If there are deviations, then calculating the days of ovulation is much more difficult.

Failure of the menstrual cycle can be normal only in the following situations:

When a teenage girl just starts menstruating
After childbirth
During menopause

In all other cases, cycle failure is negative and may be a sign of a serious illness.

How to explain to a child what menstruation and critical days are: cartoon

It is necessary to explain to the child what menstruation and critical days are.
Many parents think about whether it is even worth starting a conversation with their daughter on the topic of menstruation. Psychologists and gynecologists have a clear answer: “Yes!” . Of course, the child needs to be privy to all the details. The girl herself does not understand what is happening to her. Until recently, she was interested in cartoons and toys, but now she has hair on her body, her breasts are getting bigger and her mood is constantly changing. Who better than a parent can tell you about a new period in a child’s life. How to explain to a child what menstruation and critical days are? Here are some tips:

It is important to choose the moment when to tell your daughter about a “piquant” topic.
Perhaps your child is already showing interest in such topics, or is approaching the age at which her period is about to begin. In this case, you should start a conversation immediately.
There is no particular need to prepare for it. This is not a celebration. True, not everyone is ready to talk about such frank topics.
Such parents should choose special literature that will be written in a language that is simple and understandable for the child, and then, on occasion, hand the book to their child.
You can search for suitable video material. A visual example will make it even clearer.
You can watch a cartoon on this topic with your daughter, and answer her questions as you watch.

If parents are in the mood for a conversation, then it is best to arrange it in the following sequence:

It is worth telling the girl that years will pass, and she will turn into a real woman, and then into a mother.
All women have a reproductive organ that helps bear a child (uterus and ovaries).
The girl also has these same organs, only they are still small and are just beginning to grow and develop.
When a certain age approaches (usually 11-14 years ), the body begins to rebuild and prepare the girl for a new stage - future motherhood. At this time, menstruation begins.
It must be said that bleeding is an integral part of the process, so there is nothing scary or shameful about it.
It is also worth mentioning personal hygiene. It must be carried out especially carefully on critical days.
You should definitely warn the girl about PMS. She should know that mood swings, the desire to cry and laugh for no reason are just the consequences of menstruation and will soon pass.

If you properly tune in to the dialogue and behave in a friendly manner, then the conversation on an intimate topic will take place in a pleasant atmosphere and will not put anyone in uncomfortable conditions. Here is a cartoon video that will help your daughter understand what periods are.

Hygiene

How to explain to a child what menstruation is and what rules of hygiene must be followed? First of all, tell them that such days come once a month and do not last long - about 3 to 7 days. During this period, it is very important to maintain cleanliness and wash regularly to avoid the risk of infections. Teach your baby that hot water increases blood flow, so it is better not to take a bath during this period, but to use a shower. Water procedures must be carried out in the morning and evening. But in the first days you need to wash yourself every 3-5 hours, depending on the intensity of the discharge. In this case, hygiene products must be replaced with new ones.

How to explain to a guy what menstruation is: options

Just explain to a guy what menstruation is
Despite the fact that in the modern world young people are more sexually liberated, some young people are still not comfortable talking about menstruation. There are such shy girls who are afraid to even tell their boyfriend that they have started their period. However, you should understand that there is nothing shameful in this. This physiological process is inherent in nature, and it is simply necessary for the normal functioning of the female body. It is only important to choose the right words. How to explain to a guy what menstruation is? The options will be described below.

Usually a conversation about this situation arises when a guy hints at sexual intercourse. You can say it directly or veil everything with two words “critical days” . If the guy is understanding, then he will not insist on continuing. However, if a couple in love is still young and they have not had sexual contact, then it is not at all necessary to go into details of the menstrual cycle.

If the situation has reached the point where it is simply impossible not to talk about menstruation, then there are several tips that will help explain everything clearly and accessible:

If the boy is a teenager, then the conversation should be approached with extreme caution. During this period, he may not fully understand the words, and generally react poorly.
If the guy is older, it's much better. He is already emotionally strong and mature to receive such information.
No matter how old a guy is, you should speak to him softly and carefully. There is no need to be rude and annoying. Also, don't feel guilty or somehow different.
If you can’t get rid of embarrassment, then you should use veiled words. For example, instead of “I’m having my period,” you can say “I’m having my period .

If a guy really values his girlfriend, then he will try to understand and accept everything.

PMS - tell your girl about it

Tell your daughter what menstruation means and how it happens. Emphasize that this is a natural process. As soon as the child understands what awaits him, he can talk about painful sensations. And in this matter it is necessary to prepare the girl very delicately. There is no need to say that it is very painful, and this will happen every month. Try to explain that all processes occurring in the body are individual. Perhaps she will have no pain at all. It’s better to tell us more about the premenstrual period. Weakness, irritability, increased appetite, fatigue - these are the symptoms that she may feel before her period. Explain that this will pass soon. Emphasize that during menstruation it is forbidden to overexert yourself both physically and emotionally, otherwise the cycle may go wrong.

What are scanty and heavy periods: what does it indicate, reasons

Scanty and heavy periods occur with pathologies
. It is considered normal if a woman does not experience any discomfort during menstruation. However, this is not always the case. Many have often encountered the fact that instead of menstruation, spotting occurs, or even that same discharge begins to appear in large volumes. All this indicates a pathology with the body. It's important to figure out what went wrong. But first, let's figure it out:

What are scanty periods:

The medical term for this process is hypomenorrhea .
This is a reduced amount of bleeding during menstruation - 50 ml or less .

The following factors may indicate:

Stress
Great physical activity
Infection
Disease of the genital organs
Age-related changes
Weight changes
In some cases, even pregnancy

Heavy periods:

This is regular menstrual bleeding. They can occur once every 2-4 weeks .
They are accompanied by large blood loss and often provoke the development of anemia.

As a rule, they go for only one reason:

The body has pathologies associated with the female genital organs and more.

Whatever it is, it’s worth visiting a doctor in any case. It is worth understanding that menstruation should not bring pain and discomfort, increase or decrease the rate of discharge, change color and smell. Any changes in the menstrual cycle may be a signal of a serious illness that can only be diagnosed by an experienced doctor.

External changes - signs of the first menstruation

A change in appearance is also a sign that your period is approaching. The girl’s figure begins to change:

hips become more rounded;
the pelvis expands;
mammary glands begin to grow.

Hair begins to appear all over the body - in the armpits, on the pubis, around the genitals.

At this time, a common teenage problem - acne - may appear, which is associated with an increase in the activity of the sebaceous glands. It’s not limited to the sebaceous glands - there may also be increased activity of the sweat glands, which can ultimately lead to increased sweating and wet marks on clothes that never happened before.

It's time to teach your girl how to use deodorant. The roots of the hair on your head may begin to become oily, which means you will have to wash your hair and choose shampoo more often.

What is the length of the menstrual cycle?

Duration of the menstrual cycle
The duration of the menstrual cycle is the days from the beginning of menstruation until the onset of the next one. In the first year after the start of a girl’s period, the cycle can range from 20 to 50 days . Four years later it is already from 21 to 35 days .

In premenopausal age, the cycle usually lengthens to 50 and even 60 days . The duration of the menstrual cycle is an indicator of whether the female body is functioning normally or whether there are problems in it.

Age of first menstruation

It is difficult to say at what time the signs of the first menstruation in girls will begin to appear - it depends on many factors and individually for each girl.

The average age for girls to start showing signs of menstruation is from 11 years to 13 years, but menstruation can begin at any age from 9 to 16 years. It is believed that this variation is associated with different climatic conditions - in hot countries, menstruation begins earlier, in cold countries - later. In countries with temperate climates, the onset of menstruation from 11 to 13 years of age is average.

If girls start menstruating earlier or later, in addition to their place of residence, it depends on some factors:

Physical development of the girl.
Diet.
Heredity.
The presence of any diseases or previous diseases.

If a girl clearly shows that she is significantly ahead of her peers in physical development, an earlier onset of menstruation will be natural. If, on the contrary, the girl has always been weaker, you can expect that menstruation will begin a little later.

Heredity also plays an important role in this, depending on when the mother’s, grandmother’s, and great-grandmother’s periods began, one can guess when the child’s period will begin.

Frequent illnesses, lack of vitamins and other important substances associated with poor nutrition can cause “late” periods.

What is a regular and irregular menstrual cycle?

There are regular and irregular menstruation cycles
. A regular menstruation cycle is when bleeding occurs every few days or varies slightly. This is a completely normal phenomenon, which indicates that everything is in order with the body’s functioning.

If too little or too much time passes between periods in different months, then this case is called an irregular cycle. It may indicate the following symptoms of diseases:

Polycystic ovary syndrome
Hyperprolactinemia
Thyroid problems
Adrenal disease
Stress or sudden weight loss

If a deviation in the cycle occurs once, then this may be normal. If such problems recur from month to month, then the girl or woman needs to urgently consult a doctor for advice.

What is spotting during menstruation: what does it indicate, reasons

Spotting during menstruation occurs for various reasons.
If the nature of menstruation changes, then this may be the body’s response to an adverse effect. Spotting during menstruation is small amounts of blood discharge. May be brown or somewhat watery. Worth knowing:

At a young age, when menstruation has just begun, spotting is the norm, since the body has not yet completely rebuilt itself.
Also normal is spotting after 40 years , when reproductive function gradually fades away.
In other cases, this may indicate problems with the body.

The causes of spotting are pathologies and various other problems with the body:

Anemia
Avitaminosis
Problems with the endocrine system
Diseases of the circulatory system and cardiovascular
Metabolism problems
Liver and gallbladder diseases
Infection or sexually transmitted disease
Mental instability
Inflammation or cancer of the genital organs
Gynecological pathology that interferes with menstrual flow

Symptoms that you should pay attention to when spotting:

Pain in the lower abdomen that radiates to the lower back
Increased body temperature
Vaginal itching or burning
Discharge lasts more than 10 days

All this may indicate serious illness, so you should consult a doctor.

What is a delay in menstruation: what does it indicate, reasons

A delay in menstruation indicates not only the presence of pregnancy.
A delay in menstruation is a violation of menstrual function, manifested by the absence of cyclic bleeding for more than 35 days . Every girl knows the duration of her normal cycle and monitors whether menstruation comes on time. However, it happens that menstruation may not appear at all. This may or may not be a normal reaction of the body.

If your period is late, teenage girls 12-16 years old , since at this age the menstrual cycle has not yet adjusted.
Menstrual irregularities after 49 years , as menopause occurs. In the period from 16 to 49 years, a delay may signal the onset of pregnancy.

There are physiological reasons for delayed periods:

Changing of the climate
Hormonal changes in the body
Cancellation of hormonal contraceptives
After childbirth

Unfavorable situations in case of menstrual irregularities:

Severe emotional shock
Physical exercise
Poor nutrition
Sudden weight loss
Diseases of the reproductive system
Ovarian cyst
Polycystic ovary syndrome
Tumor
Hormonal imbalance

Important: Only an experienced doctor can find out the cause of the delay.

Delayed menstruation during pregnancy: why is this considered normal?

A delay in menstruation during pregnancy is considered normal.
As mentioned above, menstruation occurs due to the fact that the epithelium of the uterus is rejected from its body as unnecessary. A delay in menstruation during pregnancy is considered normal, as the uterus prepares for the physiological process - gestation and development of the fetus. The placenta, umbilical cord and other necessary parts for the baby’s life appear in the uterus.

When a woman becomes pregnant, her baby receives nutrients through the umbilical cord, which is connected to the placenta. In nature, in most animals, the placenta is separated from the bloodstream by a barrier. What humans and primates have in common is that the placenta is in contact with the bloodstream, although it is considered a foreign body. Interesting to know:

An immunological conflict between the fetus and the body can occur during any pregnancy. For example, when the blood type does not match. In addition, the embryo can affect hormone and blood sugar levels.
If a female dog, for example, can reject a fetus without problems, then in a woman this will not pass without a trace, since the embryo is connected to the bloodstream. Consequently, her health will be at risk.
That is why nature made it so that the body did not fight for every embryo, but only selected the strongest.
But even getting pregnant can sometimes be difficult. This is a real "quest". The sperm first needs to fertilize the egg so that it can attach to the walls of the uterus. This is called implantation.

If everything went well, the woman will become pregnant. If not, then there may be a different outcome of events. The most painful is ectopic pregnancy. And the most common is the decomposition of the embryo, which can cause hormonal imbalances and inflammation with bleeding.

As you can see, menstruation is a normal physiological process for every woman. A delay in this cycle may indicate pregnancy or the presence of a pathology. Frequent menstruation, more than once a month , is also not normal. For any deviation, you should consult a doctor for advice. Good luck!

Age limits

When should you start a difficult conversation? As a rule, girls begin menstruation between the ages of 9 and 15. However, this is not the law. It is best to tell your child all the details before puberty; at 8 years old, your daughter will already be able to understand you. Even if she doesn’t learn everything, at least the child won’t be afraid when her period comes. Convince your baby that there is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of, and you should definitely tell your mom about this event. Tell us that this process occurs in absolutely all girls and women at a certain period of life. At the same time, you should not focus on when exactly your period should begin, because the child may consider that the absence of menstruation before a certain age is a disease. But the mother herself must control when the discharge begins. If they are too early (up to 8 years) or, conversely, delayed until 17 years, you should consult a doctor for advice. After all, such changes may indicate a hormonal imbalance in the body.